something new.

the whole situation scared me at first.
my heart had been pieced back together; i was truly happy again. and content.
with life. with the past. and the future-- i didn't need anyone to hold my heart.
i accepted that my 11:11 wishes would remain only wishes. and just friends is where it would always stay.
you were aware of how i felt. nothing had changed. and i didn't expect it ever would.

sometimes i wonder, when, or why it did spark for you.
you'd been healing my heart all along, just by being my best friend. but this implied more.
i refused to allow my hopes to rise; knowing it only creates a longer drop when they're let back down.
i locked the butterflies away, because they'd always just come back to haunt me.
a wall had been built around my bandaged heart.
it was secure, and letting it run away wasn't worth the risk of my happiness.

how you managed to set it free, i'm not sure. but it was a beautiful thing.
every aspect of it was effortless, it all just flowed with ease. 
you didn't crash through the walls, or break in. they simply melted away.
you managed to free the butterflies, which scared me at first. they had been caged for so long.
the red light in the back of my mind, yelling, 'it's never worth it', stopped flashing. 
and that little hole, the one i thought would always remain.disappeared completely.

because when i looked into your eyes, it was different.
rather than fear, or anxiety, my heart felt more secure then ever.
the tape i thought was holding it together, fell away. and the scars seemed non-exsistent.
you managed to reach in, and pull out a feeling i thought had retired.

it had been so long, it almost felt unfamiliar, and this time it was as if it had been renewed.
the fog and cloudy areas, the doubt and unsurety, that had always resided before, cleared away.
and even if to you, i was only a best friend. you healed my heart entirely.

so maybe, i'm willing to leap..fall in love again 

and just see where this wind takes us..