searching for something. for someone.. for whatever it was she was looking for.. that girl she was supposed to be. that person she was to become. that boy that would fill her heart. that moment would complete who she was... she knew that an answer wasn't that simple. that she'd have to fight for that person she was becoming, that she'd have far too many heartbreaks before that boy would appear, and as much as she'd like to think so he still wouldn't quite be perfect, because simply no one was. moments don't just happen, well maybe sometimes they do.. but when they do you have to write them down or they disappear just as quickly.
she longed.. for so much. not just a pinterest wardrobe, because yes, she wanted that but she wanted to be unique, not just another girl roaming the halls of pghs... she wanted to be something more.. more than just that.
she wanted to be someone who could inspire, by creation. let her words out onto paper and change.. not nations or the world as a whole. but people, one person at a time.. she wanted to be a teacher who could influence and change lives for the better. she wanted to live with her heart on her sleeve, but more than that her whole soul, entire being glowing through her. she didn't want to be critiqued for what she wasn't doing correctly or the way her thoughts flowed, she simply wanted to be, but to be so much more.. more than whatever this was. and the thought of it was stressful enough. that this wasn't enough, that this was being shaped and molded and becoming... but not becoming nearly as quickly as she'd like. she wanted to live freely.. so what was it holding her back...? ..and that's what she had yet to figure out.
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