impatient. that's all.

i'm ready to have it back. whatever it was.
when i was content. patient with life. i didn't rush things. i took moments as they came, and lived them up. i didn't dwell on the past, or honestly, too much on the future either. i just loved, and lived in the moment.
so why am i struggling with that so much now?

now i get anxious, hoping or waiting for things to happen... for something to happen. anything. it's just not coming. i begin to say i just want to find that boy already. the one that it seems lately everyone else has found. but while they're off having their cute little fall romances, i feel like my search should be for something else. maybe what i really need to find, is myself.