this is us.

yesterday while napping i dreamed that beth surprised us, quit cheer, and came back to gym. in the dream i hugged her and started to cry. 

beth, i promise i don't hate you for doing cheer instead, i completely 100% understand, i guess i just miss spending 10+ extra hours with you every week... 

maddie, i miss you too. pleeease come home from virginia so we can have another photoshoot and go on more adventures? 

nicole.. you have no idea how much i missed you when you decided to leave me for a month. good thing you're finally home. 

kenna. i'm glad you're home from your family reunion. because oviously my life isn't complete without you. . 

rachel and sarah.. i guess we've all just been crazy busy. but good job to you both on making the soccer team! you both deserve it soo much! (:

jess, i'm so glad we found time to play finally. because phone calls just aren't the same.

and court, even when we do hardly anything, i always absolutely love spending time with you. just talking.  

every single person i have talked to about high school tells me the same thing. 

it's absolutely amazing, and soo much better than junior high, but always be open to becoming friends with new people because you won't keep all your same friends if any. because in high school, people change. you meet so many new people, your old friends just go their separate ways and it's totally not a big deal.

they made it sound like this is how it has to be. whether anyone likes it or not.

like it's like an unwritten rule, it's just how it goes. 

at the time, there was some tension going through our group. it wasn't all of  us, and probably it was mostly me. but i'll be honest i was beginning to doubt.. 

one night i finally opened up to kassie, and told her about everything that had been bothering me. 

how i felt like i had been so selfish and completely torn my friends apart. that everything had gone wrong, was my fault and what if things just got worse and never better? i confessed how truly terrified i was for high school, and for once i was on the outside looking in at the situation. 

as i talked about it i realized things that i hadn't before. and i thought i figured it all out. 

other people i didn't usually hang out with started inviting me to and i accepted. i figured why not, maybe i'll end up becoming best friends with them.. 

but as hard as i tried, it wasn't the same. nothing was the same. and no matter what i would never have as much fun with them as i'd had with my best friends. i started to realize that there was no way anyone could ever compare to them. and no one could ever replace the spot that they filled in my life. our personalities may be completely different, we might have different hobbies and teammates, but that doesn't matter. because we'll always have each other.

 i love them more than anything, and there is no one i would rather experience high school with. 

of course we'll branch out, and make so many new friends, 

but when it comes down to it, we'll always be best friends.