"if the moon fell down" ~chase coy

i fell hard on day one. 

ask anyone i was with. i tried to cover like i didn't even care, but i did. 

i wanted more than anything for you to be a good boy. so i was blunt. i accused you of being a jerk. let you deny every rumor i heard. and for some reason, i believed you. i had absolutely no reason to believe you. but i did. everything you told me, i took in. and honestly, you made me happier than i ever had been. 

i tried to pretend it was nothing. you were just another boy, and i was just another girl. but that didn't seem to be the case. you were.. different. we spent every single weekend together. and i let you love me. i tried to hold my heart back at first but quickly realized it was no use. i was crazy for you. 

there wasn't a time in my life where i remembered being this happy. not because i had a boy. but because i was completely content with my life. i loved being me. i didn't care what others thought. i knew the power of prayer, and i love my Heavenly Father more than anything. I was truly happy. 

i was at gym, we were dancing and jess texted me saying, brit he's playing you. it should've broken my heart. the rumors she'd heard should have completely shattered everything. but i didn't believe it. there was no way it could be true.. so i didn't believe it. and somehow i was still happy as ever. disappointed.. that i'd mistrusted. of course i was bugged. and maybe i shouldn't have believed him when he said they were just rumors, but i did. 

you told me you loved me. and it confused me more than anything. because i knew you meant it, no matter how many other girls you'd said it to, i could tell you really meant it with me. but i didn't know i felt in return.. 

for some reason, i didn't doubt you. i heard things of course. how you couldn't be trusted. how i was setting myself up for a broken heart. i wavered back and forth. some days i liked you as more than a friend. some days i didn't. 

i dwindled down to just friends. and i fell for other boys. but maybe those other boys just showed me how much more i liked you. you're one of those boys that a girl never quite gets over. and just as fast as that first time. i fell for you all over again. hard. 
i've already said just friends. and i can't take that back. but just friends is hard. no matter how right it may be. because you mean so much to me. and maybe this kid wasn't just a crush.or a best friend. 
maybe, i've fallen in love.