boys complicate.

if you asked me what i want i wouldn't even be able to tell you.

[i love the way you are. and i hope that this isn't something you just got talked in to. it was super unexpected but i like it. i like your sense of adventure. how genuine you are. and how real it feels. sometimes feel like i don't deserve it, or deserve you. it's so different and i can't tell you why it works, or what it even is. you give me butterflies, and clearly i can't deny liking you.]

[whenever you're there, everything just feels right again. it's like i'm freezing cold and you put a warm blanket around me. i know i don't have a chance, but you're so easy to talk to. it's easy to open up to you, and when we talk, it actually has depth. clearly, you're beautiful and you have such a kind and genuine heart. i understand you like her a lot, i really just want to stay best friends.]

[you just make me happy. you're stubborn and cocky, but it's just a front you put up. you're a sweetheart, i know you are. i honestly can't help but smile when i'm around you. the chances of it ever happening are so small, and only a couple people would approve, my best guy friends can't stand you, which i suppose is why it stays a secret. but i definitely know there's more to you..]

that's probably just a release of the top three currently congesting my mind.
because i could list so many more boys. i am blessed with the most incredible guys in my life. 
i honestly love them all so much. i'm too indecisive. and maybe that's why relationships never come.
who knows, maybe it's a blessing in disguise.