it did hurt though.

i'm lost again. and i don't even know what's going on.

when i said you were out of chances i didn't say give up. 

i said we're starting over. just like day one. 

it's up to you to make me fall in love with you again. to make me trust you. 

last time it didn't take a day. or a week. it was atleast two months before i fully trusted you. 

and you didn't give up no matter what. you did everything and more to get me to fall for you. 

you showed me that i was worth it. 

this time, i guess i was expecting the same. 

which it seems is way too much. because this time, you didn't even try. 

i wanted to let you back in. i thought that was clear. 

i just told you had to earn it. show it. because it's been a while since i've seen it.. 

i didn't want to give you up completely. 

i didn't want to let myself fall for this other kid.. 

you were still my first choice. 

but maybe i should start being logical and stop listening to my heart.. 

ps. every time my phone vibrates i might get my hopes up. 

but realize maybe this will be the first in 118 days that we don't talk.