a draft: written through tears.

drafts:
3/16 when he's that door in your heart that never quite gets completely shut. he's at the tip-top of the tree and no matter how fast or hard you climb, the tree continues to grow at the same rate and you'll never, ever reach him. maybe you took that huge leap, but you still aren't close enough. it's been over a year brit. time to stop getting your hopes up. the beginning= the end. 

3/16 cont. sometimes you don't want things to feel better quite yet. you just want your way. right now. and it's not happening. so you just want to cry, and cry, and cry. because it hurts. not being enough, or not being right, or whatever it is. especially after that night, when nothing was right. and he showed up, and it suddenly was again.. you realized something was clearly there. when you understood each other and were the joke of the class, blushing all along the way. When you met the entire adorable family, when his cute Grandma gave you the sweetest hug. the beautiful friendship that's slowly grown over the past year. what you never even imagined possible. i want in.. i want my chance.. i only want to be enough. 

journal entry:
 3/17- It's beautiful when you wake up, the thoughts still weighing heavily, but somehow relieved too. The day went on, and somehow it all became okay. it was simple really. the overwhelming feeling disappeared. he no longer held onto my heart. his grasp on my heart was carefully pried off by stronger hands. 

sometimes in the moment, you can only let it be a draft. not because feelings will be hurt, or secrets will be let out. but because they're yours. your thoughts, and your heart, your feelings. and you're not ready to share them yet.. but eventually it becomes alright, and you're ready to share again. and release it for someone else to catch.