a shooting star must've come at just the right time...

at the time, it was only a draft..  

August 13, 2011. 

dear boy. 
i think sophomore year would be the perfect time for you to show up. because honestly, i want to fall in love already. really. it won't be real. few highschool relationship are. but i want a boy to sweep me off my feet when i least expect it. to tell me i'm beautiful and for it to be absolutely perfect. he'll love every one of my imperfections and i will barely even notice his. we'll be perfect. and late at night when i'm stressed beyond belief wondering how in the wolrd i'll ever make it, he'll be one text away. and we can talk as late as necessary and he won't give up until he knows i'm alright. i'll be sarcastic, and tease him and taunt him, but it's just because i want to be sure he'll stick around. he doesn't have to be popular or the opposite, he just has to be a boy who's willing to become best friends with all my friends, guys and girls. he can come to our parties and won't feel like the odd one out. we can have movie parties and he'll let me sit close as he whispers in my ear and holds my hand tight. i don't want to wait until i'm 20 for this, and i don't want to give in and let it be some idiot. i want to tell my kids about that boy in highschool. how he broke my heart even though he promised he wouldn't, or how things just weren't right and i accidentally broke his. i want to go back to say how dumb it all  was and how everything is working out for the better without him. but i want to be able to say i loved him.. even if it wasn't real. i loved him. 
when he sees me in the hall he'll immidiately think of how beautiful i am, and how proud he is to say i belong to him. he won't be awkward, at all, but at first he'll worry about saying the right things when i'm around. when i see him, my butterflies will start to go crazy. i'll look up and then down just to see if he will wave first, and he'll run up to talk to me even if he's rushing to class. 
he'll tell me i'm gorgeous, but that there's more than just the outward appearance. he'll love my personality despite my quirks. i won't wear make-up and put little effort into my hair, just be to sure he really likes me for who i am. and he'll tell me i'm beautiful anyway. all the things that most girls only dream of hearing, he'll be telling me. he'll want whats best for me and only that..
i feel like i'm describing prince charming that i'll marry. but i don't plan to meet prince charming in high school. probably it will just be another high school fling. but definitely not a regret. more than anything, i want him this year. i want to fall head over heels for him and have him feel the same way. maybe we'll last through next summer, or maybe by then we''ve found someone new. but i want someone. someone to call mine. someone to have that summer romance with that every girl's dreamed of. but before then.. i want someone to go night sledding with me and hold close to keep me warm. someone to sit with inside with watching as the snow falls outside. someone to show me love.. someone to get me through hard times. other girls, will wish to have what we've already got.. just like how i've always wished towards others. we'll have the perfect first kiss. not one of the stupid ones that everyone regrets. 
my friends will approve of and become best friends with him. it won't be a stupid relationship where they get left behind. we'll continue to be best friends and grow closer. when i'm not around his friends will tease him for hours on end.. but he won't care. because he'll know he really does like me as much as they mock him for. and it will be the same with me.. and as i watch chick flicks.. i'll picture him sitting with me. and half the time he will be. (: using every excuse he can to try and hang out with me on weekends. when other guys try and flirt with me, it'll frustrate him and he'll pull me a little closer. i'll flirt with boys just to get him to react, and he'll pretend he's not jealous even if it's killing him inside. he'll tell me i'm his. and that i always will be. even if that isn't the truth. and he'll call me brit, because he knows that's what i love. when we're first getting to know each other,  he'll tell me cute things about how he's never ever opened up to a girl like he has to me. how he's never felt towards a girl the same way he does about me, he'll tell me how i'm different from any other girl, and how much he truly cares for me. he'll claim he loves me, that this is all real. and i'll say stop. no. you don't. what about her.. and her and her.. you probably told them the exact same things. and i vow not to just be another one. he'll tell me i'm different and he doesn't even consider them anymore. and i'll believe him.. rumors might start but we'll know the truth. my heart might get broken but it will all have been worth it. including that kiss. the one that made me dance around the room all night long. the outfit i wore will bring back happy memories every time i see it. i'll save the memory because it's one that can't be replaced. it won't be just him and i. it will be us.
so please. i don't expect perfection. and i don't expect us to get married. but isn't a high school love part of the adventure of life? if think you've got a chance, go for it.. you might have a lot to live up to.. but i wouldn't make it something to regret. 

but really, i don't expect to find you. this is just me.. dreaming about what i wish could be. 

just sitting. watching. waiting.

"hopin' that this will be the day, that you, take your eyes off the ground out of the blue.. and see that someone, is looking right back at you..." ~jason reeves, 'someone somewhere'

.

lately there seems to be a common trend spreading throughout the blogosphere. maybe it's because summer's coming, and everyone has summer romances on their mind. but lately we seem to fall into one of two categories. 

a) madly liking mr. perfect. you've kissed him, held his hand. and life couldn't be bettter....      or 
b) you're envying these people. wishing your prince would come along and scoop you off your feet. so you can join the club. as for the past couple  months. this would be where i belong.

.

i've always believed in happily ever afters. finding the perfect prince charming, and letting things fall into place. 

i never expected to find him in my teen years, but i assumed to have the 'high school flings' at some point. where you're not 'going out', just best friends. spending too much time together. always being there for each other. and beginning to believe in love.. 

..

i'm only 15. (pratically) i'm probly one of the most innocent 15 year olds out there. 

vl. never been kissed. never even held hands. but, it's not something i regret. and i'm not desperate for it to happen. there have been times where i've been offered a hand to hold. multiple actually.. where kissing got brought up.. but every time i'd turn it down. 

i'm not going to let any boy just hold my hand. better yet kiss me. 

he has to special. i have to like him a lot. and he has to genuinely care. i won't let it be something i regret. and i vow not to have a ridiculous first kiss story. because if it's not perfect. i won't let it happen. 

everyone sets an age. i won't kiss until i'm 16. or 17. for me, i really don't care. as long as it's perfect, i don't think it matters. but lately, no one has even come close to being good enough. 

maybe my standards are set to high. but i don't plan on lowering them. 

i met mr. perfect once. but he left my life just as quickly as he came in. and now i'm just another random facebook friend to him. 

but he let me believe. even if only for a short time. that those kind of kids reallly do exsist, so i'm not giving up. 

.

tonight as i read this blog post. it took the words right out of my mind. and there is no better way i could say it. maybe i cried. because this is exactly how i feel. 

but heavenly father is watching over me. and he really does know my heart. cause the next blog i opened was this one.  and maybe that just made the tears come more. because that's what i needed to hear. 

.

more than anything, i wish my prince charming would hurry up. 

but for now, i guess i'll just go with it. live life to its fullest. and forget about the boys. 

because like i said, i'm only 15. (pratically)

"my kind of perfect" ~david archuletta

"someone somewhere" ~jason reeves

"rainbow" ~colbie caillat

music is what feelings sound like.

as of lately...

bottle it up- sara bareilles
you got me- colbie caillat

rhythm of love- plain white t's

the little things- colbie caillat

falling in love at a coffee shop- landon pigg

jump then fall- taylor swift

something 'bout love- david archuleta
if you wanna i might- hellogoodbye

crushed?

inspired by cait's post 

crush: [krush] v. an infatuation- she had a crush on him. 

why is this state of young immature love refered to as a crush?

perhaps because thinking back to every "crush" that has ever occurred seems to have one thing in common. someone always gets hurt. 

crushed. 

the "crushed" could be referred to as multiple people. 

a) the crushed: the most obvious and perhaps the most common. because as it goes with most young love situations, there comes a point where the butterflies stop, and the crush fades away. leading to a young, broken heart. 

b) the crusher: the person who has to be the one to break the heart. to call it off. because no humane person wants to break anothers heart. 

c)  the green eyed monsters: there is probably some other person who too had a crush on the same person. and kept it to themselves. then jealousy occurs, and another heart is broken, as they watch them belong to someone else.  

d) the friends: no matter how much we try to deny it, when a significant other comes into the situation, the friends often get neglected. whether intentional or not, it happens. and friendships break. 

therefore young love, and crushes lead to heart-break, and unnecessary drama. 

obviously it would be easier just to not crush at all. 

but we're hormonal teenage girls. 

and until prince charming comes along. 

the crushes probably won't stop. 

oh well. 

neutral.

valentines day...

in elementary school... it's the day we all look forward to. you got to create your own valentines box, do minimal amounts of work and have a party majority of the day. you pass out your valentines, and receive excessive amounts of candy. who wouldn't love this?

in junior high... is generally when students develop their love or hate relationship for this day.
maybe because it also happens to be singles awareness day. (s.a.d. day) which seems to be a sensitive topic with this age group...  or they love it. because they finally have a special someone. who will buy them a rose. so they won't have to be one of the people who have to watch everyone else recieve the roses as their self esteem levels drop.
there's always the people who don't want to risk leaving first period empty handed, so they'll bribe all their friends to waste away their money so they too can feel important.
and the last and perhaps most common situation in this age group is the i like you, and i'm pretty sure you like me, but we're not technically together so am i supposed to get you a present? and if so what do i get you...? obviously it's an awkward holiday.

i would assume high school is relatively the same, with much more stress over what the perfect gift would be. or whether or not to get a gift, and probably the feelings of love or hate are more intense as the age levels increase.

but when your married... is when i imagine this holiday would be the greatest of all. when you've finally found your pefect someone... your concerns will have melted away and you'll finally be content. you can be happily in love and finally celebrate this holiday for its intended purpose.

until that point i think i'll remain neutral towards this holiday. i'll aviod the typical teenage drama that usually comes along with it. and for now enjoy my singles appreciation day. while i wait for that perfect someone to come along. (: 

and i'm kinda in love with this picture that calea took...

so check out her blog? (:

somethin' bout love...

*day five*

not the kind of love you feel towards your family, or you best friends. the other kind...

i imagine its something that can only be felt, not described. and when it is felt, it's the most amazing thing ever. a feeling where the butterflies never stop coming. where it never grows old. no matter how old you may get.

and this kind of love i believe is something that only occurs once in your life. because you may think you love a guy, but with true love, it will only happen once. and it won't ever end. it will last for all eternity. 

of course i've experienced what i thought to be love. but naturally, it ended. proving that in reality, it wasn't love at all. simply just a crush. 

i'm sure though, that there is someone out there, someone who i will love. with all my heart. the guy that is my prince charming, just waiting to meet me. he will be everything i ever wanted, and the perfect person for me. we'll get married in the temple. and we will know true love. (:

 (source....a friend off facebook... who got it who knows where?)

hopeless romantic?

take a look at this. 

because yes. i do believe i am a hopeless romantic (:

(and isn't steph's blog like the cutest ever? :)

it gives me butterflies

hearing this song.

seeing a couple running and laughing hand in hand with a picnic basket trying to escape the rain.

reading about others cute loves stories. 

pratically all the pictures and everything else on this blog. 

cute proposal stories. 

serendipity moments in movies.

guys who are chivalrous. 

seeing a girl in front of the temple in a white dress

cute elderly couples. 

looking through engagement pictures.

and dreaming of my prince charming. (: