Showing posts with label remember when.... Show all posts
Showing posts with label remember when.... Show all posts

Sunday, May 29

a couple years back...

remember the first day of seventh grade...?
i was so excited i counted down all summer.
beth got sick in the assembly during first period on 7th grade day.
maddie was scared out of her mind.
and nicole was just happy to be there.

nicole had a different first period than us, so after dropping her off at her class,
we made our way to ours. 
we stood outside the classroom for first period because we didn't want to be late, but we didn't want to go in early because we didn't want to be nerds.
mr. dalton. GT english. A1. 
the bell rang, and  maddie said something like,
"here goes guys... we are officially in junior high."
and then we all walked in side by side. 
the seats were mostly filled, and the classroom was dead quiet. no one said a word. and it seemed they all stared directly at us.
we looked at each other, and frantically whispered about where to sit, before making our way over to the back left corner, the only three seats left that were next to each other. 
and look where we've come from there...

we made it.
we're finally done with junior high. 
clear creek in 5th grade (:

Tuesday, January 25

if i had one wish.

it would be summer. 

...i miss being burnt to a crisp,
lake powell...
chalking... and being super tan...
 having absolutely nothing to do...
trips to the streams on burning hot days...
 endless hours spent at the pool....
and everything else summer time brings. 

i went to the pool last saturday... (even if it was indoor)
i've already gotten new swimsuits, and a peaks pass for the summer. (:
and it's only january...

Tuesday, January 11

apparently children blossom too.

chapter 2...
fourth grade came and went, i experienced "girl drama" and i met a new best friend, and sadly #5, wasn't in my class. i wasn't as shy this year, but still i would never dare talk to him. so instead, i would just watch him as much as possible during recess. i saw him with other girls and got jealous. and maybe said a couple words to him, but even that was extremely rare.
one time i went to the pg library and he happened to be there too. i saw my mom sitting at a table and me and my sister had just picked out a movie. i hurried up to her and said, "mom, me and lauren decided we want to get the borrowers!" (yes i still remember the movie) she turned around and guess what? it wasn't my mom. it was his. i was like uh.. sorry! and ran away. hoping he hadn't seen that. for like the next like year, i was terrified of his mom, and honestly i'm not sure why...
fourth grade ended and once again i was so excited for the class lists to get posted. because maybe, he would be in my class this year. and lucky me he was. at the beginning of 5th grade he would only talk to all his other friends from last year and i thought he had completely forgotten about me.
but that didn't last long, a couple weeks into the year, my teacher decided to seat us next to each other. and he is a very social kid. i wouldn't have considered us friends, because in 5th grade i still thought it was weird to be friends with boys, but i flirted... a lot. he did too. although neither of us would ever admit to liking each other, it was probably extremely obvious we did.
in 5th grade my mom went to parent teach conferences a couple months into the year, and of course when she returned home, i wanted to know exactly how it had gone. she was hesitant at first, and i said, "does she hate me? i only talk... sometimes..." and she said "no, she just said, well she said this,"  "brittney sure has... blossomed since the beginning of the year." i thought only flowers blossomed but apparentally i did too. and perhaps #5 is the reason, that i am now a social person. (:
i never saw him in the summer, but of course waited anxiously for class lists to be posted on final time. it was my last year of elementary school and he had to be in my class. good news. he was in my class again. we managed to always end up sitting next to each other too. this was the year my teacher hated me. and the fact that we always sat next to each other would probably be the reason why. he did anything he could to get my attention, and i pretended like i was over him. but of course wasn't. once his mom was our sub, and he wouldn't do his work, so she said something like, "look how amazing she's doing, she has all her work completely finished!" then proceeded to ask me to help him out. at that point, i was pretty positive we were getting married...
i knew more about this kid, then i had known about any other boy in my entire life. (excluding family) i knew more about him, then probably the majority of the people in that class. no one had ever made me laugh this hard, and i had honestly never really even liked anyone else. but still, neither of would admit to liking each other...
at the 6th grade dance, we were both to chicken to ask each other to dance... so i'm pretty sure our friends did it for us. it was probably one of the most awkward yet most enjoyed dances of my life. (at the time)  6th grade ended... we didn't see each other at all over the summer, and we were about to enter the world of junior high. the crazy, hormonal, dramatic world of junior high.
almost finished....

Monday, January 10

the story of a lovestruck 8 year old.

*day two*
my first love crush...
chapter 1...
the story begins in Mrs. Whipple's third grade classroom, with me being an extremely shy 8 year old... 
but first, lets rewind back to second grade. the day we all decided to sit underneath the wavy slide, and play truth or dare. because that was cool to do right? well we did the "who do you think is cute" truth. and everyone went around and told how cute jansen was. when it came to my turn i said... well yeah. jansen. because honestly, i was so confused. i had no idea what in the world they were even talking about! because, that puppy accross the street was cute. and painting your fingernails was cute, but boys, were just weird, and definitely, not cute. 
so then 3rd grade. it was towards the beginning of the year, when i noticed... #5. and he wasn't a yucky boy... he was something different but i couldn't figure out what it was. i wanted soo badly to talk to him, but i would never do it, but i didn't know why i couldn't do it. and i wanted to stand by him in line, but i wasn't sure why... why would i want to spend my recess watching a boy play football? i wasn't sure, all i knew was i did. 
but like i said earlier. i was shy. so i didn't. i'm not sure when it clicked to me, but one day it did. i thought he was cute. and i realized i like this kid i think. and i think i have a crush on him. and i couldn't keep it to myself, because if i did i thought i would explode. so i took nicole into the bathrooms, and locked us in a stall, and then made her stand on the toilet because that would be weird if someone saw two pairs of feet in one stall. so she stood on the toilet, and proceeded to whisper to her how i thought i might like #5. 
occasionally i would write in my journal how i had confirmed that he was the only "hottie or cutie" in the whole entire school. one time i wrote about how it was just so hard for me to "break up with him" (when really i didn't even know if he liked me, i was just trying to get over him...)
we almost always ate lunch at the same end of the table. (not by coincidence) and i would get frustrated when other girls would try to talk to him. so i began to talk to him too. not very much, but my the end of the year i could make small conversations. one time during lunch someone yelled something like hey! brittney likes you! i got embarrassed and didn't talk to him for weeks...
third grade came to an end, and all i wanted was for him to be in my fourth grade class. because then maybe i could talk to him a little more. all summer i looked forward to the day that they posted the class lists. the time came and he wasn't in my class. so i cried myself to sleep. because how could he ever like me, if we weren't in the same class? 

to be continued....

Sunday, January 9

i'm brit, and i often get stuck.

and this time it was in a lunch table. 
*an old english essay i came across while going through old papers...

           I  was a little innocent third grader at the time, and it was a perfectly normal October day at Grovecrest Elementary as my class started on our way to the lunch room.  I heard the familiar sound of children laughing, kids playing, the sliver ware and plastic trays clinking, and the scent of the greasy 5 buck pizza wafted towards us as we entered the exciting lunch room. We entered in and sat down on the hard uncomfortable lunch tables. The seating was the same as usual,  boys on one bench and girls across from them on the other, with the table in-between. As we began to eat, a round of our favorite game also began.  Who could squeeze the furthest down into the end of the lunch table. The tables in our cafeteria folded down out of the wall. We would always sit at the end of the table next to the wall. 
          It was always a race to see who could get to that spot first to be a part of the game. I had a home lunch so I hurried in and rushed to the seat. I sat down quickly and then looked around me to see who my company would be today. I saw all my friends but the one I was looking for apparentally wasn't sitting by us today. We were getting ready to start when he approached. 
          "I want to watch!" I looked up to see his gorgeous blue eyes, and golden brown hair. It was him. I had been crushing on him all year and now he was going to sit down to watch me. I had to win now! If I didn't it would be so embarrassing. Little did I know of the embarrassment that was about to follow... Everyone else sat down and the game begun. I slid over and slowly sat down in the small hole. My excitement began to grow as I started inching further and further down.  I wasn't down very far when the person I was against decided they didn't want to play. Everyone was saying things like, "Lets see how far just you can get Brittney!" I looked over and saw him watching, he looked excited and I wanted to impress him! Not only that but I of course being a shy little third grader wanted to impress everyone so I continued to go down further. I could see the excitement growing in everyone's eyes as they watched me. It started to hurt so I pushed just a little bit further until everyone was cheering, and then to show off, I continued to sit there the whole time I ate my lunch. To a third grader it was like winning the championship game just to win a pointless round of, "who could squeeze the farthest down into the hold at the end of the lunch table."  
          Everyone got finished eating and we started to go out to recess. That is when I realized that I couldn't get out. Yes, I was stuck. I could feel my face start to get hot and flush red. I may have remained calm on the outside but my heart was racing. My mind was spinning. What if I can't get out? What if they have to call the fire department? What if break my tail bone? What if everyone laughs at me? What if I get in trouble?
           One of my friends turned around to ask me as she was walking out. "Are you coming?" she asked. My voice quivered as I replied, "Um, yeah, just a second," "Do you want me to help you?" She asked wide eyed as she watched me struggle. "I'm okay I think "  By then everyone had realized that I was stuck. They all rushed over, peeking through the crowd trying to get a glimpse.
           I pushed, and pulled, and tried everything I could but the truth was I was stuck. Before I could stop it, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I fought to keep them in, but they fought back and began to pour out.  I didn't know what to do.  "I will go get a lunch lady!" I heard someone from the crowd yell.
           A lunch lady? Now I was terrified! I was an extremely shy girl at the time and lunch ladies scared me so much! I thought I was going to get into trouble! Trouble for "messing around during lunch" or maybe for "misusing the lunch tables for games." I thought for sure that I was going to get sent to the principles office for the first time in my life all because I wanted to impress a cute kid. Not only that  but there was no way was I going to let one of those lunch ladies touch me, and I would definitely not let them pull me out of the lunch table. They all had greasy stringy hair, contained by those hair nets they wore. They would all wear their matching stain covered, grimy t-shirts. Their beady eyes covered in thick uni-brows always peering over us just looking for an opportunity to yell. 
           "I'll hurry!" she yelled as she started to run off to bring back one of those witches. I tried to yell to stop her but she didn't hear. Now my determination was to get out, and unstuck before Nicole returned with the lunch lady. I continued to try and push as tears streamed down my bright red face. After about 10 minutes, everyone was gathering around to see if the little third grader could get herself un-stuck from the lunch table. I continued to pull, push, and sob, but it was no use. I really was stuck.
            I finally asked my friends for help. They had strong grips on my arms as they tried to help me pull my self out. It was no use, no matter how hard they pulled, their arms would only slip off to reveal white marks left from their tight grips. As I pushed, pulled and tried everything that I possibly could, I saw a lunch lady start to walk up. Yes. One of those disgusting, oily haired, uni-browed, scary lunch ladies.  I could not possibly let her have to pull me out of the table! 
          "Everyone, on the count of 3 pull harder!" I cried as tears continued to pour down my face which was now probably the color of a tomato. I looked up to see Nicole and Mrs. Cafeteria worker get closer. 
          "1. 2. 3!" They all pulled, I felt my self budge but I was still stuck. The lunch lady had worked her way through the crowd now and was coming over to help me,
          "Now don't budge young lady and I will help you get out of there!" This one was especially scary. She was really tall and she had gross wavy brown that looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks. She smelled like the schools "meatloaf surprise" she had arms like an ape. Long with disgusting dark hair. The look on her face was stern and her mouth was curled into a frown. Everyone watched as she came to help me out. They didn't know weather to laugh or to be scared so they just kept quiet. The room was completely silent except for a few whispers coming from the crowd every couple minutes. She reached out her disgusting hairy arm to grab a hold of me.
          "No!" I yelled as I swatted her grimy hand away. I couldn't take the embarrassment any longer, not matter how much it hurt I had to get out of this table by my self! I pushed as hard as I possibly could!
          Suddenly I felt the tension go away, I was free! I had popped right out from the hole in the wall where I had been stuck. The tears lightened and the crowd cheered.
          All I had wanted was to was impress this kid and all the other little 3rd graders and I had just ended up embarrassing myself. I was so mad and sad, and mostly just embarrassed. Half of the school had just witnessed me getting myself stuck in a hole in the wall. I wiped away the remaining tears from my wet, red, tear stained face, and quickly ran away from the crowd out to recess. As I ran out I heard snickers and whispering as they followed behind me. After lunch I was embarrassed so badly, I didn't want to have to see people, so I called home sick. My mom came and picked me up and I skipped the whole second half of they school day.
      Everytime it was brought up I would try my face would turn bright red and I would try not to cry. But after a while I learned to ignore them, and eventually they forgot. But now you know, the story of how I, got stuck in a lunch table...
          
oh yes, and also my teacher decided to read it aloud to all the other english classes. 
kids i barely knew asked me how it felt to be stuck in a lunch table. i was embarrassed. 
and also, gorgeous blue eyes kid? yep, he put the pieces together and figured out it was him.... but more on that tomorrow..

Monday, January 3

i'm sorry. i didn't miss you.

(a conversation between me and my 9 year old sister a couple days ago...)

her: aren't you like so excited to go back to school?
me: uhmm no, not really... at all. 
her: like not even a little bit?
me: mmm nope.
her: i am! because like... i miss all my teachers and everything!

oh how i wish i still thought that way. dear teachers, please don't be offended that i don't miss you... you just have a tendency to complicate my life. with excess work, stress, and cramming more information into my brain than i think is necessary.
also, school means more people, specifically hormonally imbalanced teenagers who cause drama. *dislike*
and as for missing my friends... well i haven't missed them because anyone i would've missed, i hung out with (:
okay. i hate pessimists and look at me. i'm sorry for this little rant. it's just... school isn't currently my favorite place to be... and this happens to be my least favorite time of the year... no breaks from school. cold and dreary out side. lots of snow. nothing to really look forward too...
but, i guess there's nothing i can do about that, just smile and make each day worth it. (:
perhaps i'll bake cookies or have a dance party. (:

Friday, December 31

the end.

2010. 
the year that we...
-started off with fireworks with the cousins
-made lots of goals
-kept very few of them
-had waaay to much friend drama
-learned to let people go
-found out who my real friends were
-danced in the rain
-did lots of prank calling
-watched anne of green gables for the first time and fell in love 
-layed out under the stars, talking and crying with maddie
-grew to love the scriptures
-graduated 8th grade with a 4.0
-spent 4 days straight with maddie
-stayed up until 3 in the morning talking to beth
-cried saying good bye to my best friend as she left to mexico for the summer
-did tons of chalking
-spent lots of time with beth (:
-blog stalked for the first time
-ran my first 5k
-spent the summer at the pool
-got a ridiculous tan
-got 2nd at the state meet
-got a camera named jo.
-it fell and broke nearly a month later.
-went to a stake dance before i was 14.
-went to youth conference
-had the most amazing time ever and regained friendships
-went to Lake Powell
-flirted with a group of priests on the boat next to us
-went to efy
-learned to swing dance
-made tons of new friends
-met my potential prince charming
-strengthened my testimony even more
-jumped off the high dive at lava hot springs (the scariest thing i've ever done)
-stayed up late talking to Kristine at girls camp
-was actually not excited for school to start
-did almost 50 posts in a month
-remembered my love for the beach
-got to know my great grandma lots more
-got stalked by 3 cute brothers in disneyland
-sat by 4 famous people in church
-had david archuleta put his arm around me
-had the most amazing summer to date
-gained a testimony for myself
-grew to love my gymnastics team more than ever
-decided not to care what others thought
-fell in love with the 80's
-and dressed up as an 80's aerobic instructor for halloween
-didn't go trick-or-treating for the first time in 14 years
-gained a love for taylor swift's music 
-regained old friendships
-had wardie movie parties
-got a cell phone
-had a hot chocolate tea party in the rain
-had multiple friday night coloring sessions. 
-stalked guys while skiing
-made new friends
-learned not to judge
-stopped taking piano lessons
-spent way to much time on facebook
-realized math wasn't so easy anymore
-got asked when i was leaving to college
-or why i didn't have my license yet
-or if i was 16, 17, or 18 multiple times
-wrote in my journal a lot. 
-and started this lovely blog (:

what was the highlight of your year?

Saturday, December 11

sincerely, your old best friend.

dear you...
you say that you miss me now more than i could ever imagine. and sometimes that's how i feel too. when i  remember calling you at late hours in the night because i was confused, because i needed someone to talk to, or simply because i was in a bad mood, and needed someone to cheer me up. no matter how late, i knew you'd always be there to talk to me.
i remember when we would hang out. and do the craziest things. the most random things, and having so much fun. having the first campfire, freaking out when cars would pull up, getting scared, and sitting in a circle singing primary songs.
i remember the time we spent hours finding spare change around your house, then walking two miles to wal-mart to buy lots of soda and salt and vinegar chips. then having to walk all the way back carrying the heavy soda. (:
i remember riding around on your four wheelers, up to the baseball park to eat the fresh grapes. and the night we put tons of crazy make-up on each other because we had nothing else to do. (:
i remember writing you notes at 1:00 in the morning. and laughing with you. i remember the first day i met you and instantly thinking we should be friends. i remember trusting you so much. and telling you absolutely everything.  i remember calling you my best friend...
but that's not all i remember. i remember hearing about the things you would say behind my back. and not wanting to believe them. i remember you lying to me about everything, and causing me more pain and tears than anyone else has in my entire life. for weeks, i would come home, and just cry. not knowing what to do. i remember thinking it was all my fault, and only wanting things to go back to the way they were before. wanting you to love and trust me again. i remember you discluding me. and saying all those rude things about me behind my back. and convincing multiple other people to hate me. for absolutely no reason. the dirty looks you would give me in the halls. and the smirks and whispering whenever i'd walk past.
i remember the last night i hung out with you guys. and i realized how down hill you had gone. realizing, that by hanging around you, i wasn't being uplifted at all. i was being torn down, so much. your jokes were anything but appropriate. and you didn't even care about me. in fact, you wanted absolutely nothing to do with me.
i remember calling my mom early, saying i felt sick. and coming home, knowing that i would probably never hang out with you guys again. i realized i didn't need you. because i had real friends. who loved and cared about me. who had been there all along.
to this day, i still don't know why you hated me so much. i still don't know why you would cut out a picture of me, and throw darts at it. i don't know what i did to you, why you did the things you did,  and why you had to change. others say you felt that i was competition to you, so you just got rid of me.
sometimes i still miss you. i see your pictures on facebook. and how much fun it looks like you're having. and wish i could be there. i see you smiling and laughing in the halls, and want to be a part of it. but then i remember. how you changed. and what it was really like to be on the inside. where someone was always hated and where gossiping, was the main topic of discussion.
i miss the old you. the one, who would never say anything rude. who's idea of fun, was matress surfing down the stairs. and who didn't participate in bad jokes.
so please, if you ever decide you want to be that girl again. then let me know. because that's the best friend. that i miss.
sincerely... me,
your old best friend.

Monday, November 22

a blast from the past...

throughout my life i have changed.
 i've had my up's and down's and i've slowly started to find out who i will be. 

-in my early elementary school yaers, i was an extremely shy little girl. i got scared being around people i didn't know very well, feared unfamiliar situations, and it scared to be have to be away from my mom. 

-in 3rd and 4th grade i opened up a little more. i started to make more friends and realized i could do things on my own. 

-in 5th grade, i developed my first real crush. which led me to get out of my comfort zone. i was no longer in a little bubble, i was lots more social and expanded to make a few new friends. 

-in 6th grade i was beginning to find out who i was. i was confident and didn't care what others thought of me, i was bubbly and talkative but kept to my own close group of friends. 

-in 7th grade, i was extremely outgoing and bubbly. i was loving this new life of junior high and all the new friends i was making. 

-in 8th grade, towards the beginning of the year, i finished the book of mormon for the first time by myself, my grandma died, and i started to gain my own testimony.
-i fell in what i thought was "love" for the first time. i got my heart broken but of course slowly put it back together. 
- about half way through the year, i started to get pushed out of the group of friends that i had made in 7th grade. people started talking bad about me behind my back which was new for me. my sense of belonging and confidence started to waiver, and the testimony i had started to fade. i realized what they were doing to me, and finally ditched them towards the end of the year
-through it all i had stayed close with old my friends and realized they were my true friends.

to be continued....

Sunday, September 19

a walk down memory lane...

walking back to jessica's house. 
sitting talking on her porch. 
hanging out with some of them again. 
watching a movie in her theater. 
i kept saying, wow this brings back memories. 
most of which weren't good ones.
but this time it was different. 
it was a different group. 
with only some of the same people. 
the whole atmosphere seemed different. 
so much better. 
and tons more fun. 
she's the man. we enjoyed it definitely. 
sketchy? its a new word in leslie's vocab (:
mr. manning's chair? what?
inside jokes? yep, lots more too. but those will stay off the blog (:
i forgot how much i loved spending time with those guys. 
i missed them. and i didn't realize it. 
it was the other part of the group that i didn't particularly enjoy. 
at all. they were degrading. and rude. 
but that's ok. 
we're done with them. 
all of us. and last night? 
it was definitely a successful saturday night (:


Wednesday, September 15

a crazy chinese rock band?

while searching through some old papers tonight.
guess what i came upon? my good old 7th grade english journal.
i obviously had no care in the world for it. considering it was about a 1st graders writing quality. and i would simply just write 7 random things so i could get the points. and dalton honestly i understand why you may have wanted to fail me.
and a couple snippets of it...

"we went to the haunted forest when it was dark so it would be scarier."
"beth has this countdown chain in her room. it's really really long."
"there was something moving in the ceiling. its gone now."
"i was telling everyone else around me how the dog peed on ashlyn. it was really funny!"
"we can't go because its pg13."
"well ttyl"
"we're supposed to write about something that bugs us. that sub mr. jones bugs me."
"cassie is bringing about sophie."
"beth just informed we are through. we'll get over it eventually"
"you are sick minded. i don't like him at all!" (as of now she likes him immensly)
       oh and musical journals....
"a hoeboe band under a bridge."
"aliens invading a party."
"felipe on a secret agent mission."
"mr. manning."
"garden gnomes!"
"bananas surfing on clouds."
       one of my scores was 50/130. good thing i persuaded him to give me an A. even though i deserved that F.

in 7th grade. we struggled. apparentally. bless our hearts...

Friday, August 6

look what i dug up.

nicole has inspired a post. and also a search. because of these fun little things. (:
well dear nicole, guess what? i asked my sisters and look what we found.
these little things are our american girl doll school books. american girl dolls were pretty much our favorite and played with constantly.

guess what else? these are still being put to good use at my house.
lauren and julia play with them often. (: